Lack of self confidence: what's with that?
I am in the middle of replacing three large windows. There is a pretty good amount of labor and skill to the job. I have had the new windows for four years and not put them in. I was in actual fear of not being able to do it. This fear was real, powerful and not rational. I knew that I could do it intellectually but not emotionally. Emotion trumps intellectuality. I finally decided to start slowly and go one step at a time. As I moved very slowly through each step I gained confidence and knew I could complete the task. I realized I could even learn it well enough after a few times to do a professional job and even adapt to different windows.
Well, this feeling is not just related to windows. It it pretty much a pervasive lack of self-confidence. I don't think it is highly related to what I am capable of doing. It is an emotional thing and I am not sure where it came from. I don't remember being told I was incapable as a child. An extremely accomplished friend says he has a lack of self confidence also. Maybe it is a basic part of the human character. Maybe all people have it and in some it is stronger than in others. Maybe it is in our genes as they say things like shyness can be. Maybe the lack of self-confidence lasts to the very end as we contemplate the fear of dying and death and how we can handle it. But that is for another post.
About Me
- Charlie Tally
- Moved from San Francisco in 1966 to go to Florida State University, stayed. Old Time/Contra Dancer. Visit California each year.
8 comments:
Charlie Tally, I must admit that you are probably the only person on Earth that I would consider blogging with. Your site is very peaceful and I think your topic is a nice way to begin.
Sometimes I think that putting things off may be a really good thing. What if installing the windows four years ago had resulted in smashing your hand or falling from a ladder? What if, by putting off the window install, you saved yourself years of painful reconstructive surgery, or physical therapy? I actually had a friend who fell two stories from a ladder and had to do a lot of PT. The point is this. Maybe the self doubt was a result of your higher power nudging you, so that you did it when it was the best time to do it. I think it is good to listen when that inner voice speaks.
I have been told that I have good self esteem. I like myself, but then I like most other people too. However, I know my limitations. I could never hang windows and I wouldn't even try.
Charlie Tally, Thanks for the invitation to view your blog. I don't have anything to add about self-confidence since I don't know much about it. You are braver that I am...putting yourself out in cyberspace...WOW! I will check in and see what wonderful things I can learn about Charlie Tally.
Thanks for the kind comments little mojack and great name, whoever you are.
Anonymous: brave, me? Maybe. Minimally foolhardy.
New fear: I cannot find the spell check on this comment box. Life is so unfair.
Leading to 2nd new fear: no one will understand my sense of humor.
P.S. When the newspaper isn't much fun, I have learned to read the comics. There are always one or two which kill me with laughter.
Charlie,
thank you for cluing me in to your blog spot. it is an interesting beginning. it sounds like you, but with a more sophisticated, contemplative, introspective, positive take on the bigger things of life, as they are revealed to you through the microcosm of a moment or a thought or a smile or a window.
i also appreciate the complexity of the premise of a Taoist Cowboy (it reminds me of a Frank Zappa song). the Taoist window you suggest you are willing to see life through is a 2000 year old tradition of looking at life. as far as i am concerned it is the simplest, most complex and most appropriate window imaginable http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoism, for such a task.
i like that Taoist ethics emphasize compassion, moderation, and humility. all of which existed in your blog on self confidence and all of which you manifest in your life.
i also like that Taoist thought focuses on health, longevity, immortality, non-action and spontaneity. it provides a wide range of topics to consider and about which i am interested in getting your perspective. the one that i have always been most curious about is non-action. understanding that topic from your perspective, will be a valuable experience. in a serious (and sometimes kidding) way, i have always considered you a master of non-action. at trait in you that i have often admired and often found frustrating.
so, thank you for the blog, and thank you for your thoughts and thank you for leading an examined life that you are willing to share.
the Dental Floss Cowboy.
I am very impressed with the blog. I wrote one blog post two years ago and haven't added anything since. I guess it's my version of your windows.
Hi Charlie Chuck Tally Whackie,
The whackie part is not to you but just to make it rhyme a little. I'm not writing too much now because I've signed up for blogs before and wrote a bunch of stuff and then it didn't get published and then i got an upset stomach, no just upset, so I'll stop here and not get upset.
Pavel
I knew it would happen! This is my second time trying to blog it - the first message was deleted. fate.
Love the blog and the comments! All so true, true, true! I am in awe...I can't even keep up with my email anymore! I'm impressed that you have even set this up; heck, I'm signing in as 'anonymous' just to avoid the process of having to ID myself officially below (I'm Kimber Hawekey, by the way). Thanks for the invite.
Dear Taoist Cowboy,
This blog has been quiet lately, right?
How are your windows coming along? I know you had a few more to install and I saw the ones you already put in, so that was impressive. I'm good at hammering in nails, it's just what I nail into that's a problem. I have a better time/success putting ink to paper than nail to wood or whatever needs repairing.
Got to go and pull out those nails.
PAvel
Post a Comment