Self Confidence

Lack of self confidence: what's with that?

I am in the middle of replacing three large windows. There is a pretty good amount of labor and skill to the job. I have had the new windows for four years and not put them in. I was in actual fear of not being able to do it. This fear was real, powerful and not rational. I knew that I could do it intellectually but not emotionally. Emotion trumps intellectuality. I finally decided to start slowly and go one step at a time. As I moved very slowly through each step I gained confidence and knew I could complete the task. I realized I could even learn it well enough after a few times to do a professional job and even adapt to different windows.

Well, this feeling is not just related to windows. It it pretty much a pervasive lack of self-confidence. I don't think it is highly related to what I am capable of doing. It is an emotional thing and I am not sure where it came from. I don't remember being told I was incapable as a child. An extremely accomplished friend says he has a lack of self confidence also. Maybe it is a basic part of the human character. Maybe all people have it and in some it is stronger than in others. Maybe it is in our genes as they say things like shyness can be. Maybe the lack of self-confidence lasts to the very end as we contemplate the fear of dying and death and how we can handle it. But that is for another post.